I asked Mahaprabhuji's permission to make a satsang journey. He permitted it on the condition that I remain within the state of Rajasthan.
"He who travels blind, will become blind," he warned.
I didn't pay careful attention to his words and only heard him grant approval for my trip. I had visited a couple of villages on my journey when I came to the road that led to Abu and then decided to pay a short visit to Palanpur in the state of Gujarat. I had simply forgotten that Mahaprabhuji had told me to remain in Rajasthan.
Immediately upon my arrival in Palanpur, my eyes began to burn and hurt. The next day I visited a doctor but his treatment was without effect. I went to Gandhidham to Dr. Iyengar, a disciple of mine who cared for me with much love and professional attention. His treatment lasted for more than one month but the pain only increased and my eyesight continued to deteriorate.
I decided to go to Dr. Arjun Singh, the eye specialist in Siva-Ganj in Rajasthan. He took me to his hospital in Marwar Junction but still my eyes did not respond to the medication, so I went to Ajmer where I was cared for by Dr. Manohar Singhji and his father, who were both disciples of Mahaprabhuji. But they also were unable to heal me and losing all hope, told me that probably there was no cure for my pain.
By this time I had a constant, almost unbearable, burning pain in both eyes. I could hardly see and the pain prevented me from sleeping.
During the night I prayed to Mahaprabhuji.
"Lord, I can't bear such painful living any more, rather allow me to die."
I repeated my prayer several times and some time later fell asleep. I dreamed and in my dream saw the beloved face of my Master.
"I told you only to travel within the state of Rajasthan, but blindly you disregarded my order. This pain is the result. But now I shall tell you how to improve. Tomorrow morning soak some chapati bread in buttermilk and put it on your eyes. In two days you will be cured. Then return to me."
As soon as possible I followed these instructions and the next day was almost free from pain. I repeated the treatment and like Mahaprabhuji had said, I was cured within two days.
Dr. Manohar Singhji and his father were deeply impressed with my recovery and Mahaprabhuji's infinite mercy. They accompanied me to Bola Guda where Mahaprabhuji was waiting at the door of the Shivbagh Ashram.
He smiled when he saw us.
"Now, Madhav, will you again travel so blindly?"
I bowed at his feet and asked for forgiveness and he blessed me.
Mahaprabhuji invited Dr. Manohar Singhji and his father to stay for dinner at the ashram and told me to prepare halva for the evening. Halva is a dessert made of semolina, ghee, sugar, almonds and raisins. Unfortunately I burnt the halva so it became much darker than usual and I was afraid that nobody would like it.
After the evening prayer I served the halva, giving a portion to everyone. To my great surprise it tasted delicious. Never before had I eaten such wonderful halva! Everyone else also liked it and this to me was a sign that Mahaprabhuji had really forgiven me.
Later, whenever I met Dr. Manohar Singhji or his father we talked about this blessed evening and the wonderful halva, which by the mercy of Mahaprabhuji tasted like Divine ambrosia.
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Overview: My life with Sri Mahaprabhuji