My First Satsang Journey
After initiation as a swami I felt the urge to go out and hold satsang myself to pass on Mahaprabhuji's teachings but up till then I hadn't done this. Feeling a little depressed and full of jumbled thoughts, I began to think about where I would go, where I would stay, whether I would find any kind of welcome and so on. At this time I was still very young and inexperienced and these things were preying on my mind.
Without revealing a word of my distress, I withdrew to an isolated place where I could think things over without Mahaprabhuji finding me. But of course my state of mind couldn't remain concealed from Mahaprabhuji and at eight o'clock that evening he came to me with a smile.
"Madhavananda, what are you worrying about?"
I could find no words to answer him and so only sat there with lowered head.
"To whom do you belong?" Mahaprabhuji asked. "To whom does this world and the entire universe belong?"
This I managed to answer.
"I belong to you and the whole world and universe are also yours."
"Then why are you afraid?" Mahaprabhuji said. "I will always be with you wherever you may go. Never will you have to worry. Whether you are in the jungle or mountains, in this country or far away, I will always care for you. This is my blessing which will stay with you forever." After giving me this promise, Mahaprabhuji sang the following bhajan:
KARDUN AJAR-AMAR TAN KAYA
I can make you immortal! I can make you immortal!
If you are a real devotee of the Lord, why is your mind troubled?
Take your example from great Bhaktas like Prahlad, Dhruva,
Maharaja Harish Chandra, Narsibhagat, Kabirdas, Mira, The Pandavas.
This bhajan praises the deep faith of the Saints. Mirabai was once presented with a drink of poison and she drank it without hesitation. Through the grace of the Lord it became nectar.
Mahaprabhuji sang this bhajan for me in his splendid voice. I was uplifted and felt happy, more free than ever before. He then gave me some other instructions and advice.
Again I experienced that Mahaprabhuji cared for all who sought shelter in him and liberated them from all worldly sorrows.
The next day at two o'clock in the afternoon I departed for the East, as Mahaprabhuji had instructed. I said goodbye to Gurudeva, thanking him for his grace and, while meditating on him in my heart, I left the Khatu Ashram.
After holding satsang in some villages I came to Sujangarh, where I stayed for a few days. I then went on to Ratangarh and like this, travelled from place to place giving satsang and granting mantra diksha to many. Everywhere I was received with great respect and love.
On this journey I also visited Jamnagar. There I gave satsangs for some days and because I couldn't speak Gujarati, I held my lectures in Hindi. But many of the listeners barely understood Hindi so I prayed to Mahaprabhuji for help and he assured me that within two or three days I would learn Gujarati. And indeed, through his grace, I could give satsang in Gujarati after three days.
When I returned to Khatu Ashram, happy to see Mahaprabhuji again, I told him of my experiences and thanked him for my success.
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Overview: My life with Sri Mahaprabhuji